I’m looking over the awards that were given out for Revolver’s Golden God Awards that took place last night in L.A. and I seriously think this is why the rest of the world thinks that American Metal sucks. Here is the complete list of winner according to Bravewords.com.

Most Awesomely Good Drummer: Vinnie Paul (HELLYEAH/PANTERA)
Best Underground Metal Band: ISIS
Metal Industry Award: The Rainbow Bar & Grill
Best Album: METALLICA
Honorary Headbanger: Kat Von D
Golden God: Dave Mustaine (MEGADETH)
Best Riff: SLIPKNOT
Most Viral Video: PROTEST THE HERO
Most Metal Athlete: Shaun White
Best Live Band: Slipknot
Best New Talent: SUICIDE SILENCE
Lifetime Achievement: OZZY OSBOURNE
Best International Band: DETHKLOK
Reader’s Choice Award: ACACIA STRAIN
Most Mind-Blowing Guitarist: Jeff Hanneman & Kerry King (SLAYER)
Hottest Chick In Metal: Marta Peterson (BLEEDING THROUGH)

So they got something right. Vinnie Paul is an “Awesomely good drummer”, Dave Mustaine is a Golden God and Ozzy does deserve the lifetime achievement. I’ll even go as far as saying that Slipknot do put on a hell of a live show, but the rest kind of baffle me.

I love Slayer, but mind-blowing is not how I would describe their guitar playing. You already know how I feel about Metallica winning the best album for Death Magnetic, I mean that’s just ridiculous. Most Metal Athlete? Honorary headbanger? They couldn’t come up with a couple more awards to award actual metal bands and not just people associated with metal in some stupid way? How about awarding Dimebag, Cliff Burton, Randy Rhodes and Chuck Schuldiner a posthumous award or something? Maybe a “Most Brutal” award to Cannibal Corpse or Suffocation? Jesus, this looks almost as bad as The Grammy’s. Here is some shitty fan filmed footage of Megadeth playing Holy Wars.