KISS Potato-Heads Coming Soon

So one day Gene Simmons is getting is cock sucked by groupie number 46,239 and he thinks to himself…

“What if we opened a KISS store? Everything KISS and anything everyone would ever buy there would have my face on it. KISS underwear, kiss tampons and even KISS douche bottles and my tongue would be the nozzle. That would be great. It would be a great KISS empire and no one could stop us…er…me…er…us, whatever.”

So most of Gene’s dream came true. He didn’t actually open a department store franchise like Walmart, but he’s still trying. Seriously? Does there have to be everything KISS? It seems that when they started marketing of countless KISS merchandise that the music actually took a back seat and things seriously went to shit.

I understand that merch is a huge part of most band’s profit and that these days merch sales are a huge contribution to a bands touring profits. If they can’t make money off of CD’s, ticket sales and merch are the only thing they have going for them unless they get a cool endorsement.

It seems like a trend now. Bands start to create merch of more than the basics like t-shirts and such and suddenly the music goes to shit. I’m not talking about the smaller bands that tour hard. I’m talking about the bands that have blown up over a few years and suddenly they have a cult following. I can name a number of bands that this has seemed to have happened to. Become trendy, start new lines of merch, try to become the next KISS….and shit all over the fans with what you deem to be your “Best Album” to date. Some say they don’t write the music for their fans but for themselves. Without fans you’re nothing, NOTHING!

Of course mindless and deaf followers buy into this trend and stick to the the band like jizz on the bed sheets, but the real fans, the ones that fell in love with the band because of the music alone, go astray. They realize in their minds that it has become more about the money than anything. They call their once favorite bands “Sell-outs”. Not because they’ve made a video or signed to a big label, but because they know in their hearts that their favorite bands have completely gone to shit in the name of the green faced dead presidents.

My father, who is not a fan of any particular music, who has never been a musician, played an instrument and knows nothing about music or the industry, told me when I was a teen and I started playing guitar that if I do it for fame and fortune, then I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons. Though not for lack of talent, I’ve never made any famous music but those words stuck with me and they are words to live by no matter what you’re in to. You do it for love of what you do, not money. Love, motherfuckers, LOVE! Not so you can plaster your half-assed logo and ugly face on everything from lunch-boxes to babydoll wife-beater tank tops and coffins.

It’s truly sad and extremely fucking annoying! Fuck you [my once favorite and great] bands…fuck you HARD!!!

I need a beer…

Image: Kissonline.com

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