Archive for the ‘What?’ Category

Stick to your usual exploitation of pop culture and celebrities and keep your shit-ridden noses out of the heavy metal world. Thank you.

Gwar‘s classic “Have you seen me“, from 1992′s America Must Be Destroyed.

This is kind of old, but I still found it slightly entertaining. Oh, and yes, it’s a very slow news day.

Let’s be honest. This is the fucking internet where everything and almost anything is available at the tip of your fingers. If you search hard enough or even just a little, you’ll find stuff that some people may not know is out there. You might even try to claim that you found it and are presenting it exclusively. Well guess what? Someone else may know that it has been available for a while and might call you out if you claim that you have “Unearthed” something that has been available to anyone with an internet connection for 2 years, give or take.

To the people that I’m calling out, you know who you are. Stop being fucking FRAUDS!

The past two months have been fun for making fun of Insane Clown Posse‘s Miracles video. Everyone who is a “Hater” have been poking fun at them in one way or another. NBC aired a parody video of Miracles, which was also a big hit. I’ve steered clear of it just because, well, no reason really. I was just not trying to do the same thing as everyone else; that is until I came across Cracked.com’s Learn Your Fucking Science With Insane Clown Posse. Basically you will find a 9 age mock text book explaining to Juggalos that the things they mentioned in the Miracles video were meerly acts of science and nature, and they try to put all of this in to language that a Juggalo might understand.

Don’t get me wrong here; I understand that not all Juggalos are fat, retarded degenerates, but for the most part they make the normal (and I use that term loosely) ones look extremely stupid. So, here is how Fucking Magnets work.

From a post about Posers, Deathcore and Hardcore Dancing called Poser Bashing 101 I briefly ranted about after seeing a post on The Gauntlet. I thought this comment was funny, to say the least.

megadeth is faggot as fuck. Music is music. Just because fag little emo kids and scene chicks listen to a band doesn’t mean you have to hate and bash on the band. If you don’t like them or the genre just ignore it. What are you getting at by talking shit? Maybe you just want the attention?

So Megadeth doesn’t meet this person’s standard of “brOOtal”. So they are “faggot as fuck”. Totally caught me off guard that someone that still uses the entire word “faggot” can spell it correctly, unlike most Lambgoat comments. Next, it’s okay to call emo kids “fags”, but don’t bash their music. That just ain’t right.

To conclude this, Yes, I just want attention. Thank you.

So that’s how Cadbury Cream Eggs are made….

(Image stolen from http://gordonandthewhale.com/)

Every now and then when I log on to Myspace and look for bulletins for potential news bits, I always find a bit of humor in some of the things people post in their status. Here are a few…

• Fred: “It takes too long to log in because of that stupid Hannah Montana SLUT’s Movie that no one will watch..Fuck Billy ray too.” (Fred is the guitarist for the band Nefarious, a band I saw but didn’t really like. Though for some reason I approved his friend request. Maybe it was because he speaks the truth?)
• Metal Injection: “In case you were wondering, Veil of Maya were incredible.” (I beg to differ, but to each his own. People seem to jizz all over any act that Sumerian Records signs.)
• UNEARTH: “UPS is the ultimate fail delivery company we have ever dealt with. Go out of business asap you fucks!!” (Merch issues?)
• Name: “Got my white chocolate mocho waiting for Clash of the Titans. Im praying its good, the original is one of my all time favs.” (I’m seriously thinking about un-friending these guys simply because White Chocolate Mocha is not very metal…but it sounds tasty.)

Lastly, I just want to say Fuck You to Metal Castle. Their bulletins every 10 seconds repeating the same shit are taking up so much space for actual important metal bulletins…such as Hannah Montana Slut rants. Though your effort to spread the metal is commendable. Commendable, but annoying.

Yes, I’ve been a lazy fuck these last couple of weeks. I have a new job that I loathe and it’s mentally exhausting. Instead of posting regularly here, I have been contributing a post or two each week over at TheNumberOfTheBlog. Stop by and check it out. Stay awhile and become part of the dysfunctional community. Anyway, let me get to the point of this post.

Roadrunner Records has been running another useless list to promote themselves and bands that have graced their label. That’s the only way I see it, because the list is “The Best 10 Albums Covers Of Roadrunner History”. The number 1 spot went to Type O Negative with Bloody Kisses. I think Roadrunner is not giving some of their more underground alumni much credit, with maybe the exception of Nailbomb. Over the years Roadrunner has been the home to many great bands with a lot of cool album covers. With all that, they somehow still managed to put together this mediocre list of albums that aren’t really all that impressive, coverwise. After the fold, see the top 5.

1. Type O Negative – Bloody Kisses: Like I said, but they’re not even kissing. Kind of boring.

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Back on February 25th The Number of the Blog told us about a facebook group called  Any Photo Can be Improved by Adding Immortal To it. Shortly after, I submitted my Pokemon Immortal photo because TNOTB talked about Pokemon being metal and the photo has been getting “Likes” by quite a few people. Since then I have been bored, so I submitted the photo below. All I can say is FUCK VINCE, Abbath could sell the shit out of these things. By the way, I bought some Shamwows and they are shit. Pure shit.