Posts Tagged ‘KISS’

I think by now it is quite obvious that there is no product that KISS and their management team are not afraid to putt their logo on. They know that collectors are going to buy everything and anything they produce. So, next in line is a black bar of soap with the KISS logo on it. Not really as bad as some of the things I’ve seen come out, but it kind of makes you wonder if they’re running out of ideas. The answer to that is probably “No”. Gene Simmons probably has notebooks full of lists of things that he plans on slapping the KISS logo or his face on. Perhaps this was just next in line. Oddly enough, one bar of soap is cheaper than the KISS M&Ms they were selling for 6 bucks a bag. For $5.95 you can purchase this 5″ X 2.5″ X 1.5″ bar of soap from KISSmuseum.net.

(Image Source: KISSmuseum.net)

Whenever I see a “Worst Band Ever” video on Youtube, it’s difficult for me to NOT check it out. This one takes the cake though. Now I’m not entirely sure if these guys are just dicking around or what, but I’m pretty sure that if Gene Simmons saw this he would try to get money from them for sucking so badly. The guitar is out of tune and has absolutely no distortion and the rest of the band sucks too. This is rehearsal footage and the actual talent show footage is just as bad. Sure, it takes balls to get up there in front of a bunch of people and suck, but it takes even bigger balls to actually be satisfied enough with yourselves as a band and your performance to get up there and humiliate yourselves shamelessly.

So I’ve been kind of fucked up for the past few days and in pain. I had to take a couple of days off from work after a hospital visit where they told me I may have passed a small kidney stone. Thank goodness it wasn’t Appendicitis or a Hernia. They ran numerous tests and I’m sure I’m going to get a huge bill that will take me years to pay. Anyway,  afterwards I had to swing by the evil empire (Wal Mart) and pick up some Aleve and I saw KISS M&Ms. I thought ‘Cool I can eat Gene Simmons face and shit him out. Then I saw the price of this bag of M&Ms. $6.00. Do you believe that shit? SIX-DOLLARS! for a bag of candy with KISS’ name on it. Not only that but there are four different bags to collect. Read the rest of this entry »

After the buzz around the metal web about the new Megadeth song, I noticed a lot of people talking about lyrics and how they don’t think Dave Mustaine can write good lyrics anymore. I understand and I can agree to a certain extent. Thinking about it a little more, most of the veteran metal bands write shitty lyrics these days. In fact, Zakk Wylde even said that Ozzy has hired song writers. Let’s look at a few bands that have been around the mill a bit.

• Metallica: No this isn’t Metallica bashing time. They just fall in to this category. James Hetfield hasn’t really written any solid lyrics to a song in almost 20 years. Like it or not, the Black Album had some great lyrics. Everything after that kind of took a creative nose-dive.
• Judas Priest: Writing lyrics for a concept album isn’t nearly as difficult as writing lyrics for a random song. On Angel Of Retribution, Priest wrote a song about the Lochness monster. Enough said.
• AC/DC: These guys have been writing the same songs about the same things for over 40 years, but still manage to keep it semi-interesting.
• KISS: Hasn’t written a good song in over 40 years. Again, enough said.
• Anthrax: The last time these guys wrote a really solid tune was back when they had John Bush on vocals,
• Ozzy Osbourne: Have you heard Black Rain?

Read the rest of this entry »

KISS Potato-Heads Coming Soon

So one day Gene Simmons is getting is cock sucked by groupie number 46,239 and he thinks to himself…

“What if we opened a KISS store? Everything KISS and anything everyone would ever buy there would have my face on it. KISS underwear, kiss tampons and even KISS douche bottles and my tongue would be the nozzle. That would be great. It would be a great KISS empire and no one could stop us…er…me…er…us, whatever.”

So most of Gene’s dream came true. He didn’t actually open a department store franchise like Walmart, but he’s still trying. Seriously? Does there have to be everything KISS? It seems that when they started marketing of countless KISS merchandise that the music actually took a back seat and things seriously went to shit.

I understand that merch is a huge part of most band’s profit and that these days merch sales are a huge contribution to a bands touring profits. If they can’t make money off of CD’s, ticket sales and merch are the only thing they have going for them unless they get a cool endorsement. Read the rest of this entry »

As if the world needed one more Kiss action figure and another reminder of the tainted legacy that once was. Here are two new Kiss action figures that will be going in to production. What’s that? Where is Ace and Peter? Well, those guys are being swept under the rug because Gene And Paul are Kiss. Besides, they don’t want to give those two any more money. Honestly they look just like every other Kiss figure that has come out in the past 10 years, except that each time Paul looks more and more like a harry chested woman. They’ll probably cost an ungodly price, too. Click on the thumb for a much larger picture. For more useless information on these, go to Kissonline.com.